Grief

This picture appeared in the diocesan paper in October after they told us they were closing our school. The one you cannot see except for the grey sweatshirt is me.

Our long, impossibly long, deathwatch over our school is coming to an end. Graduation is tomorrow morning- for the last time we will send a class out into the world. Next week each class will have a special closing day. On Thursday, June 17th, we will send our Juniors away and close forever.

Our students will go to new schools. Many are going to a school which the current parents there chose in order to keep their kids away from kids like ours. All are going to have to start their high school careers all over, even the new seniors.

This year has been unmitigated hell. There was no support for our situation. There has been no caring shown for the trauma we have all endured.

I don't know how I will get through these last days. What goes on in our building every day is truly unique. We read so much in the papers about racial and social conflicts in other schools- and that did not and does not exist in our school. How will our kids be treated in schools that do not have our acceptance of diversity? In fact, we do not "accept" diversity, we glory in it. What kind of environments will our students find?

How will the teachers who have been there 40 years cope in new schools? How will they fit in when they are separated from those they have known and worked with for those 40 years? Imagine being 60+ and being the new kid in the building!

I'm not sure I'm even making sense here. All I know is that the terrible pain we have all been feeling for the last 8 months is about to come to a head. I don't know how much more any of us can bear.

I want Graduation to be a happy experience for the kids tomorrow- but how can it be when it means the last graduation and the end of our school? I hope I can be strong enough for the kids; it will be hard because my heart is truly breaking.